Breaking up is hard to do, but getting back into the dating game can be even harder, especially if it has been a while and you aren't psychologically prepared for it. 
Being psychologically prepared means getting out of your own way and having faith that fate will provide you with another partner, just as it has so many times before. 

Your first step is to heave that chip off your shoulder, get out of your bathrobe, get a make over and stop spending your nights in front of the television watching ''Cheaters'' or calling your friends for sympathy. 

If you don't feel that you are not quite done wallowing in self pity or anger, by all means continue as you were, but realize that there will come a day, sooner or later, when you will become bored with yourself and want to face the real world again. 

Once you have cried, screamed, wailed, stopped blaming, stopped shaming and forgiven yourself (as well as your ex) you are ready to go on to the next step towards becoming a bearable human being again. 

This next step is called ''Living in the present.'' This means consciously developing an awareness of what is going on around you and what you need to do to put yourself back together again. Rather than spend your days thinking such dour thoughts as ''what if I die alone'' and ''every day I have lived so far is a lie'' you are better off to practice the First Things First Rule. 

This involves getting off the couch, looking around and assessing what it is that you can do in the next five minutes that will serve to improve your immediate situation. What you decide to do can be as big as paving the driveway or as small as doing the dishes. 

The idea is to do something that will increase your self-respect and make you (and others) feel better about YOU. Take things one step at a time, one day at a time until you have accomplished your goal of feeling ready to face the world again. 

During this healing process it is also very important to think positive thoughts. This raises your vibration so that you can attract like-minded souls into your social sphere. 

If you are incapable of this, then pretend you are the happiest, most fulfilled individual in the world! Plaster a big smile on your face and ''fake it 'til you make it.'' 

Studies on the placebo effect have shown that sometimes even just faking a smile can produce genuine feelings of well being and cheer. 

Tell yourself that every time you think or state a bitter or negative remark about yourself or others that you draw more of the same into your life. Try to discipline your mind so that it only goes to happy and productive places. This is one sure way to ensure that you will too. 

Fate does not doom people to a life full of fear and betrayal. Mother Nature wants you to recover from your post-break-up doldrums so try to humor her hints to cheer up and go with the flow. Don't stay in and isolate yourself from the hard, cruel world. 

Just because you feel betrayed by one person, doesn't mean that all people you encounter in the future will betray you in the same way. It is crucial not to lose your faith in yourself as well as other human beings. 

The great spiritual counselor, Florence Scovell Shinn maintains that we tend to manifest the very thing that we fear. Franklin D. Roosevelt was essentially saying the same thing with those famous words, ''We have nothing to fear but fear itself.'' With so much going on in the world, how is it possible for you to fear something as simple and common as dating? 

Studies have shown that most people don't fear rejection. What they really fear is their own reaction to rejection. If you look at this objectively, than what your fear of dating is really just a matter of self-control. Perhaps the best way to master this fear is to accept the fact that rejection is a normal part of dating and assure yourself that you can handle any situation that may arise without doing punitive emotional damage to yourself or others. 

Dating after you have been in a couple for a long time can be a hard thing to do, especially if you are not the type that enjoys going to clubs or bars. As strange as this might sound, your best chances of meeting someone new are probably at book clubs, neighborhood social events and church gatherings. 

Many people have also had success by posting a profile on a dating site that features an online chat room. Others find love in the workplace environment. Doing something you love, such as a favorite hobby or sports, also might bring you someone you love. The important thing is to get out of the house. 

Basically you can be asked out on a date in any situation, as long as you make yourself emotionally available to others. People who are single, but who are still obsessing or brooding about an ex partner don't tend to be asked out because they are putting out a vibration that still says ''Stay away! My heart belongs to another.'' 

One way to draw a soul mate to you is to put into practice the very same qualities that you are looking for in another partner. For instance if you are looking for a date that is tender, compassionate, loving and has a good sense of humor than start displaying those qualities to all you meet. 

This is one great way of drawing more positive people into your life as well as sending a message out to the universe that you a ready, willing and able to build a relationship with a kindred soul.