It seems that nobody has ever escaped the inevitability of heartbreak in his or her life. In many relationships there comes a time when one or both participants in a relationship realize that it is time to call it day. 
For some people this is a devastating experience. Many people feel lost, disoriented, lonely or like their entire life is over. This is a time when most of us are ruled by our emotions as we mourn the closing of a sometimes lengthy and important chapter in our lives. 

When humans suffer emotional loss, they are said to go through stages of grief. There are no short-cuts or ways to get around this process, it just simply must be lived through. Some people call this process ''the dark night of the soul.'' It is usually a painful experience, but in the end, you come out a stronger, wiser and more loving person than before. 

Basically, once a relationship has ended you are confronted with two choices. You can either make yourself miserable by dwelling on what could have been or you can face the traumatic event with courage. Part of this might be to stop blaming the other person for the demise of the relationship and taking accountability for your part in it. 

Typically many people go into a phase of denial after a break up and some actually feel elated, freed or enthusiastic about being single. Sometimes it can take as long as six weeks before an individual acknowledges the enormous impact that the break-up has had on his or her life. 

Despite all evidence to the contrary, the heart-broken individual might subscribe to the belief that the former partner is coming back or even pretend that the loved one has just gone on a long trip. This is a bit of a trick that the mind plays on itself. Denial is a normal response to emotional injury. It is a kind of shock that we go into to prevent ourselves from becoming too depressed or suicidal. 

Sooner or later, however, it is important to acknowledge to yourself that the relationship is finally over. Many people do this by formalizing or ritualizing the matter by removing the person's name from their phone numbers, throwing out their belongings, cutting off mutual friends or forbidding others to mention the ex's name. 

It is also normal for people to feel anger after a break-up. It is very common for people to indulge in fantasies of revenge and cruelty against an ex partner. There is, however, a fine line between dreaming about getting revenge and acting out your fantasies. If you feel tempted to do so, it is wise to get counseling, so you can air your feelings in a safe environment, in front of an understanding person who has no interest in seeing you single or married. 

Try to understand why the relationship failed, but remember not to blame yourself or analyze the matter until you feel crazy. Realize that if your partner wanted to be with you, you could have worked out your differences in other ways than by breaking up. Blaming him or her will also not do you any good, because even if it was his fault, all you are doing is defining yourself to others as a victim. It is a sad truth that you cannot have a relationship with someone who will not have a relationship with you. 

Also, be careful about expressing too much anger towards your partner, especially in front of other people. Although it may feel good at the time, the long-term effect of cutting up a person you once loved makes you look unstable to others and also lowers your own self-respect. Beaming angry thoughts or saying angry words at your partner is also an unproductive activity that is not likely to change the past or the future. 

While experiencing this angry phase, try to think of the consequences of your actions and whether or not your anger towards your ex is going to affect others, such as friends, employers and families. As this state of anger can feel pleasurable to some people, there is also a risk of getting addicted to the emotion. Some may find themselves expressing it in inappropriate situations just to feel the ''rush'' of adrenaline that hatred towards the ex now brings them. 

While you may need some time alone to recover from the break-up, you also need to get out and socialize. Break-ups usually leave an individual feeling lonely, sad and abandoned. To avoid the feeling of loneliness, it is more beneficial to have a few closer relationships, rather than large numbers of shallow social contacts. 

Studies have shown that endorphins (chemicals that cause pleasure signals in the brain) drop after heartbreak, leaving a person feeling depressed. Exercise has been shown to raise endorphin levels, so embarking on a fitness program is one way to recover from the agony of a break up. 

Keep in mind that in order to get through the pain, you have to feel it, acknowledge it and accept it. Therefore, using drugs and alcohol to numb your brain won't make you feel better in the long run, but merely prolong the agony of the grieving process. 

You are best off to see your break-up as a new beginning in life for you. You may now have certain freedoms that you may not have had while in the relationship. Once the initial period of sorrow is over, it is important to preoccupy yourself with activities you enjoy. Become more involved in your social group and phone friends that you haven't talked to for a while. 

Try to see the break-up as a learning experience. Look at your behavioral patterns and your role in the relationship. You cannot change the past, but you can learn from it and make your future better. Take this as an opportunity to learn more about what you would like to improve about yourself. 

Realize that there are a lot of advantages to being single. Being single allows you to focus and take better care of yourself. By spending time alone, you learn more about who you are and what you want- which will make it easier for you to choose a partner who can satisfy your needs. In your lifetime, you might have few opportunities to be single, so enjoy yourself while you can. 

An important thing to tell yourself is that ''this too shall pass.'' Life is a series of cycles with ups and downs and it is crucial that we not let moments of failure become the only moments that we use to define ourselves. As Anthony Robbins says, ''your past need not equal the future.''