Age Gap Relationships: My Story
Personal insight to an ageless love...

Age gap relationships can be great. I think that maturity is a must when this is the situation. If any of you out there are considering a relationship with someone that's quite a bit older or younger, my advice would be to think it through completely before you make up your mind. Here's my story.

When I was 19, I moved to California to live with my father. Brian, who was friends with my dad, had been hanging out around our house for a couple weeks and one evening he asked me if I would like to go and get something to eat. He might as well have said, ''I am asking you out on date, but if you want to pretend that it is not a date, then its fine with me.'' I knew he was quite a bit older than me, but I figured what the heck, my dad was sitting right there and I knew that if he didn't trust him, he would have said something. He took me to a great Italian restaurant, opened doors for me and insisted on paying for everything, much to my chagrin.

Over the next few weeks, Brian began appearing more and more frequently at our house and with our mutual friends. I knew that he really liked me when I mentioned that I was out of Diet Coke and he jumped up and ran to the store and bought me a six-pack before I could even get my shoes on. Eventually he started asking me out to movies, would give me back rubs, and pay more attention to me than to anyone else in the room. During this time, I found out that he was 37. I really liked him, but I had a lot of considerations on the age difference. I spoke to my friends about this dilemma and they all thought that if I could get over the age difference, then Brian would be a great catch. They had known him for years and had always thought highly of him.

Finally after about 6 weeks of going out with him, I decided that I wanted to move ahead. At this point, he hadn't even tried to kiss me! I knew he liked me but I didn't know how to give him the green light. Eventually, I figured it out, but that is the subject of another article.

My dad did talk to me about having a relationship with Brian, he found it odd that I was dating a man that was biologically capable of being my father. I simply told my dad that I had thought long and hard on the subject and had come to terms with it. I assured him that it was not a decision that I entered into lightly. My father respected my decision and never questioned me about it further.

Brian and I dated for about 2 years and never once had a fight. I know what you are thinking, ''that's not possible'', but it is true. Brian taught me about having a relationship with complete mutual respect. Before him, I thought that I didn't need some guy to take care of me. I still don't, but I want a guy to take care of me. I believe that when a guy takes care of your needs and wants, then you have an obligation to take care of him. Brian allowed me to ease into this.

Unfortunately, (at the time), it didn't last. Brian came home one night and I knew it was over. I don't even remember what he said that night, but I knew the instant that he walked in the door.

To this day, I have the utmost respect for Brian. He gave me all the time that I needed in order to be comfortable being with him. He never pressured me in the least bit. I know a lot of this had to with his age. This isn't an article saying you should or shouldn't enter into an age gap relationship. But, if you're both sure about being able to handle the various obstacles that will come up, it can be an extremely rewarding experience, even if it doesn't last. I credit Brian with showing me first and foremost that guys can be good and sweet and secondly, the basics of a good relationship. He was worth waiting for. And sorry girls, he is getting married this month.